Active Listening, Other Communications Skills May Help Responders Deal with “Difficult” Members of the Public

In some ways, being a first responder is a case study in seeing people at their worst. Whether your house has burned down, you have suffered a serious injury, or you are being picked up on an old warrant, the saying about encountering fire, EMS, law enforcement, and emergency telecommunicators on your worst day is equal parts truism and reality.

As any responder or corrections officer will tell you, some members of the public are more difficult to deal with than others. Nearly everyone in the broad field of first response has a story about that one individual: the manipulator, the aggressor, or the person who refuses care after requesting emergency assistance.

Most responders develop strategies for dealing with difficult suspects, inmates, or patients. Often, these approaches are shaped by the nature of the job and the specific services being provided. Even so, much of the advice and training shared across these professions follows similar themes. Many best practices used in other public-facing industries can also apply to emergency responders.

How motives, other factors, drive behavior in individuals

‍The first step in managing behavior better is to understand why people act the way they do. Most rational people emit behaviors in order to effect some sort of response from another person. While this may sound like common sense, it actually carries with it a number of interesting implications. In some sense, the person ordering food at a drive-thru window and an irate driver yelling at the person who scuffed his bumper are trying to accomplish the same basic goal.

The same thought often applies to rational people deploying unfair or socially undesirable behaviors. Take manipulators, a type of person seen by all public-facing sides of first response and corrections. While the things they do are not always legal or pleasant to deal with, the “underhanded methods” they deploy generally come in the name of influencing or controlling another person to achieve a desired response, according to Psych Central.

Further, it is important to remember that many such behaviors come from an emotional, gut feel, per Psychology Today. Because emotions directly and indirectly color the way everyone — from the angry suspect to the cool and collected law enforcement officer—acts, and because it is often difficult to fully understand the way we feel about a given situation until we have examined it in retrospect, the misbehaving or manipulative citizen may not fully understand the drives behind their own behaviors. Turning back to manipulators, for instance, an EMT might see through a noted attention seeker’s attempts to elicit sympathy, when the patient fails to have a full rational grasp on why they are behaving the way that they are.

‍Understanding the power of active listening

‍The point of this reminder is not to simply elicit empathy for misbehaving suspects, inmates, and patients. Rather, the point is to underscore a philosophy central to popular practices like conflict resolution, de-escalation, and Verbal Judo: when you understand what a person is trying to accomplish, it is easier to gain their compliance.

First responders must be Verbal Judo masters: understanding motivations makes control easier.

In some situations, advice like this falls in the easier-said-than-done category. As any public-facing emergency responder will say, sorting out exactly what is going on in a person’s head can be one of the hardest aspects of the job, especially when their stubborn, manipulative, or otherwise maladaptive behaviors are making it hard to provide resolution.

These factors make active listening a useful skill for responders of all walks to cultivate. Originally developed as a therapeutic technique by pioneering therapist Dr. Carl Rogers, the phrase is a bit of a misnomer. While listening is a large part of active listening, doing an effective job of it requires the practitioner to consider the suspect’s words, behaviors, body language, and other contextual and situational factors with the goal of uncovering what the other person truly wishes to gain from the interaction. This may often contradict the information or desires put forth by the other person, who could have any number of motives to obfuscate their real goals.

In this sense, one could say the same skills that make effective therapists and counselors also work for EMTs, firefighters, and law enforcement officers. As information from Farnam Street outlines, “[forming] a rich picture of the other person’s emotions and intentions” without allowing assumptions and biases to color the listener’s response is of the utmost importance.” When one comes into an interaction with the goal of understanding — if not providing — what the other person desires, they will do a better job of listening than the professional who comes in with certain preconceived notions.

Other sources also place value in asking questions to understand and occasionally summarizing what the other person has said thus far: putting their statements in your own words helps you curb misunderstandings and show that you are actually listening to them, not just waiting on a chance to offer your own input or issue commands.

‍Putting the tenets of active listening in a first response context

‍Obviously, there are times where communication fails. The decision to continue to engage a potentially violent suspect or dispense a physical response is often a split-second one. Regardless of role, a responder should never resort solely to verbal communication when it could put them, their colleagues, or the public in harm’s way.

A growing school of thought does support the general idea of thinking through situations before reacting, where possible. In law enforcement, for instance, the U.S. Department of Justice has long supported the concept of a “‘thinking police officer’ who analyzes situations and responds in the appropriate manner.”

While this idea is often applied as a use-of-force alternative, it can just as easily be applied to more benign, if still contentious, situations. This, along with growing scrutiny around use-of-force practices and an increased emphasis on alternative response strategies, may help explain why many states and departments have implemented de-escalation training. These practices — like active listening — encourage responders to approach situations with a defuser’s mentality.

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Conclusion: Difficult times, suspects, call for renewed tactics‍

Revisiting communication strategies is increasingly important given the range of challenges responders face. While personality disorders affect a relatively small percentage of the general population, they are more prevalent in correctional settings. EMS and law enforcement professionals may also encounter a growing number of behavioral health-related calls.

Ultimately, while not all difficult behavior stems from underlying conditions, the ability to listen, adapt, and respond thoughtfully remains critical. In a field centered on high-stress human interactions, strong communication skills can lead to safer and more effective outcomes for both responders and the public.